Archive for September, 2017

Ended friendship number 2….. Calling me a bitch every sentence not cool with me. Not down for all trends.

September 29, 2017

I was like this three days ago to myself….

Then two days ago I was like….

Then I was like this yesterday……..

This morning


Just glad it’s over. I hate ending friendships, but if it goes south I’m learning to let go.

I loved that she texted me. We both had very busy lives with work and school. We had maybe 85% things in common. We would send each other recordings since if we had any down time we both wanted to just relax vs being on the phone talking. We had close to the same goals. We known each other for 7 years….again 7 years. I loved how that she was black and not so deep into all things God. I could talk about past life…I mean is it real? Meditation and so on without hearing I’m going to hell.  We both experienced being fired, laid off, afraid of not having rent money, school being our main goal….this friendship was bliss.

In my last post I had fully let go of another friend of 8 years. Sometimes people change. Change is good, but sometimes bad…real bad. I’m proud to say I never went back to that nutcase, so I was down to a few friends. I’m also fine with having no friends if it ever came down to it. We all have our flaws, but some I’m not willing to put up with.

If I am to lose weight…… as a emotional eater ….I have to take out the things that could make me binge and make me feel awful about myself.

As time go by….I notice that people need ME more then I need them…

This was my favorite friend. When she would send recordings I would press play and looked forward to it! On rare calls we did it was like a holiday when we both had some time and energy to talk.

Things changed about 4-5 months ago.

She sent me a recording and I press play…

Girl my boss a bitch and blah blah…..and bitch get this….

I remember like wait…did she call me a bitch???  I heard of reality tv and how artists call themselves a bitch, BUT THEY ARE PAID. I’m being called a bitch for me?!!!

I let it slide thinking ok maybe she had a rough day and…..

Fast forward. Two months later…I’m a bitch this and I’m her bitch….not I’m her girl, but her bitch. And listen bitch this what happen to me today (in a cheerful positive voice)  I was a bitch…bitch bitch and more bitch and she a bitch, her boss a bitch….were all just bitches. Soon her recordings and text messages I was dreading….


I asked her whats going on with you? I was like talk to me. Something bad happened to you? I known you for 7 years and you never talked to me this way.

She then left a recording joking that one day she’ll be successful and will say bitch even more. I said please don’t do that.

She laughed and laughed…..if she was like this 7 years ago. I wouldn’t have kept in touch.

Another month in.

Bitch get this…

Bitch guess what…

Ya bitch just got her grades back……

Yes bitch!

Soon it came down to me playing her recording and soon as I heard bitch I would just not finish it. A 10 minute recording …maybe only 2 min into and cancel.

One day she was at work. And she called me very upset. I was like whats wrong?? She said you know how I call you bitch? I said sadly yes. She said you understand it’s not met as a insult? I said yes that’s what you told me. She said at work she called one of the other black nurse assistants a bitch in a good way. I said ok…

She then said that she caught the other nurse assistant telling another nurse assistant to watch out for so and so she likes to call people bitches.

I said ok….

Then she says it’s not that serious…I said well I fully understand her. None of us want to be called a bitch as a good thing…


She ignored what I said and continued her rant….


So three days ago we had our first disagreement in 7 years…………

Since shes 35 years old….she knows better. I thought this ends today or I’m out.

She’s not going through a phase….I mean I made up excuses for her in my mind that maybe it’s a phase.

I called her and she was like wow you usually don’t call.  I told her we need to talk. Since I was on the train I couldn’t just bluntly say what I wanted to say. Nosey people around and all listening in pretending not to hear.

I said why are you calling me a bitch every sentence? She got real upset saying shes not with that girl power bullshit and not a feminist (which she really is lol….stupid)

She votes, shes starting to get desperate for a man that she plans on marrying some guy from Africa in a 3rd world area. Told me if she can get a education she support him…….all these things are possible thanks to feminists. If the laws were changed today I would be happy in front of a stove, having kids and being a really great wife.

So only feminists don’t want to be called bitches or bitch…….. her logic was not there at all. NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO BE CALLED THAT.

She then goes on how as a kid her and her sister would call each other bitches. And that was a the norm for her family. Interesting I said very calmly.

I was thinking so this behavior pops up 4-5 months ago??? Not 7 years ago??? And when her sister dropped her off years ago…I didn’t hear her sister say bye bitch I’ll pick you up later…..

Soon my mind blocked her out as my mind kept saying we got to get rid of her.

You call me your BEST friend………..your BEST friend told you in so many ways she doesn’t  want to be called a bitch….yet your getting mad about it :/ like who gets mad at someone who doesn’t want to be called a bitch?


Once we hung up….she sent me more recordings on other subjects, but continue to call me a bitch. You pretty much saying you don’t respect my wishes or me at all. I was so hurt that day. I could cry, but didn’t. I thought well this will be bye bye to friendship number 2 because I can not take being called a bitch and explained why it’s ok for me to be called a bitch.  If I’m called a bitch it needs to be a insult. I’m not a rap artist making millions nor a reality tv star making many thousands.

So then I told a newer friend of 4 months…………lol. A ex coworker as well. She said she sounds crazy. I said she has become crazy as if I will put up being called a bitch. She told me I need to get rid of her asap so she can call her sister a bitch and whoever. Also I was her ONLY friend 🙂   So she needs to get out and find women like her who don’t mind being called bitches 50 or so times a day.

So two days ago I went along with it. I thought to myself shes a total bitch her self….I went from this was my favorite friend to I HATE her. Played her recordings…more of me being called a bitch… and talking about how shes drinking green tea and needing to figure out how to get into some nursing program and more bitch bitch blah blah bitch bitch.


Three days ago I wanted to binge eat. I called up a old friend…I forgot about lol. I told her please talk to me. I want to binge eat over this reason. We talked for an hour that day and luckily still on my diet I lose 15 pounds in 10 days with.

So yesterday…………..I said let me listen to her final recordings. Yup bitch blah blah, bitch….blah, but it kinda decreased, but I know it’s only temp.

So I went to my e-mail blocked her there.

Then I texted her ….in a nutshell that friends respect each other and since you don’t I can no longer take this.And how I assumed maybe it was a phase because you didn’t talk this way 7 years ago or even 6 months ago.  I sent her the three textes and blocked her number making sure I get the final say.

And imagine……….she wanted to be my roommate because she may lose her place soon. She was fired and……….I wouldn’t mind for a month or two, but she killed it.

This morning my pants feeling looser and I felt total freedom.

If I’m called a bitch it will be used correctly as a insult.

In my text I told her I am a woman, a female, a girl and that my name is……..,but I’m not a bitch.

So now I have………

1 Haitian/Kenyan friend of 7 years

1 African American friend 7 years

2 white American friends 1 of 8 years the other 3-4 months

1 Jamaican friend from my home state of over 10 years

Life has gotten less neg. and …..feels good.

I’m happy at this time. ..and won’t be going back.  Learned my past lesson.