Lazy employee, diets, future.

Lazy cna been with us for a month. From day one I was begging him do this and that. And its wearing me out. Refuse to chart (will catch up to him soon since nor the others are willing to do his) A male aide I heard sometimes they work around all us women and think were open to take on the load including take out the trash no matter how heavy, encourage us to lift grown adults alone. I say BS! He moans and groans since I make sure he does his work or it doesn’t get done. I help, but not into being taken advantage of.  In a nursing home he enjoys sitting, getting on his IPAD when needed and doesn’t like to be bothered. I believe because he works two jobs he gives his all to the other job and comes slacking big time on the one I’m at. Tonight its 10 minutes before I have to clock out and catch the bus. He is sitting there and smiling at me as I ask whats his problem? Long story short his resident needed help. I told him I catch a bus at and if I miss it I end up getting home when its nearly 12am the next day! I don’t live far from this job its just night time public transportation is awful. I told him over eight times I will go with you to her room. He then instructs me to care for his resident. I said no! I told him I believe you take my kindness for weakness. I told him I feel you think I will give in. I said ok….his resident is waiting for him. Long story short I clocked out and he saw me telling another aide about his ways. I looked at him and only thing that came out was….sick…sick….sick! The resident even told me he doesn’t want to help me. Im tempted to report his ways. I hate causing a stir but… also again I got a email from a hospital there reviewing my application now. I’m ready to move on for better pay and a new environment. The hospital is not located in the best area which is a concern to me, and it is a little ways out. Instead of 30 minutes to work it would be a hour going and coming vs 30 going and hour returning home. I then would be able to pay down some debt and finally get my first car sooner or later and should be easier to save. Its like the good out weighs the bad.

Been brain storming my next diet. I’m over the banana island. I tried that for a few hours and started craving great things that could go with these bananas. Like banana smoothie, banana in that strawberry and chocolate special k cereal, banana and whip cream and ice cream. The ideas were endless. Been thinking of egg fasting, or fruits…but certain fruits trigger a cereal binge. Fruit and cereal are always a great match. I just need rapid weight loss on food that tastes good, not too triggering and I can see myself doing at least a week.

The pain in my ankles and what I see in the mirror everything is pushing me not to give up. Last night as I was falling asleep. I felt my upper arm fat, so soft, so huge, so hanging. My stomach very round and my thighs appeared huge in the tv’s glaring light. For a 3rd time I dreamed of my future son. Gender doesn’t matter to me, but its my longing for my own future family.

I missed out on dating in my teens and everything that goes with being a teen, my early 20’s are gone and I’m nearing my 30’s. Its like time is going by so fast and yet to lose weight it seems. Well fast enough and not to regain any.


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