Sadly still drooling over men, people of my own age group helping me walk safely… even sadder

I promised myself 2015 I will have my first boyfriend and all the experiences that go with having a boyfriend…..

Just total bliss. And just think me…me with a actual ex boyfriend like other normal people…to have a actual ex instead of pretending to because I’m 27 years old and not willing to take any guy just to have one. A ex who at one point were both into each other and were a actual couple….did he cheat?? Did we just fall apart???? I can only dream as I enter into a new relationship. No longer forcing my cats to cuddle with me as they look at me with their glowing reflecting eyes meowing for me to let go, or begging them to sleep in bed instead of far away from me on the floor because they want a break from me, but a human who I want to be with. Then someday marriage…and KIDS.

At work this guy I’m guessing in is late 30’s came with his very obese brother to visit. I wondered if they had different mothers or fathers because I didn’t see any features that matched each other. I was speechless he was tall, swimmers build, dirty blonde hair and not a butter face. I wasn’t making any since trying to focus on him visiting his brothers friend.

And please don’t get me started on the list of other guys outside of work. All I want is one guy just one of those. Instead I have all the lil wayne wanna be’s and ones who want me to be their baby mama’s with zero support tracking me down. Highly depressing.

After work my ankle was killing me. Two people of my age range and race came out of no where. The girl grabbed my arm to help me walk over a hump (When I don’t take my pills and put on my pain creams I am a fall risk) she saw me and said she had to help me. Where the same age range and now I’m really being assisted like a frail elderly woman. I told her thank you.


I will have a boyfriend

I will have a boyfriend

I will have a boyfriend

I never had one to the point sometimes I feel….is it even possible? So many questions, but so little time.

Its best to be under weight then over weight.

I see all these thin girls living it up besides me.


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