Its been a battle, but back on track.

I been doing my best with all the stress thats been going on. I have to start all over re-losing the weight I had lose until I was laid off that time ago. My acne under control, my weight slowly going down (too slow for my taste) no longer 330 pounds, but as of today 299.4 pounds. Its been a moment and a serious struggle. Its 12:06am and I want to eat, chew, and swallow. My 3x size uniform clothes are starting to have some room, slowly guys are more friendlier…kinda if you ignore their sex want (never mention dinner and getting to know you…I’m not thin yet for those comments).

I never forgot the wise words of a pro ana online years ago. When fat guys want to have sex with you, when thin they want to protect you. I understand not all guys, but this the truth majority of the time.

1)I make sure when a skinny woman sees me about to board the bus/train…and thinks she can walk past me I speed it up and come right back in front (likely burns 10 calories just doing that)

2)When a guy opens the door for a thin woman I hurry as best as I can even limping (ankle spur) to go through that same opened door.

3) When someone thin says they need to lose weight…I agree. When they say do they look fat, I say a little. (Fishing for thin compliments from a obese person…not happening.

4) Same age range as me,both looked refreshed, both could use a 50 pound weight gain to make me feel better, and had came from having a good time, and maybe secret cousins of Barbie. Me tired, fat, long work shift on feet standing on a crowded train. Two guys got up for both of them, when I deserve a seat! It made me so upset I said loud enough to myself how I been on my feet all day and very tired! Barbie’s family and random two guys looked at  me as if I was crazy.

5) At work when a thin office worker tries to get me to do manly labor and even passing guys to get to me. I play stupid and somehow she ends up doing it. Thin women are strong if they want to be.

Life is unfair for those who are heavy. Have to try harder, work on having a personality,prove yourself that your a great worker when thin ones sit back,and lost opportunities.


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2 Responses to “Its been a battle, but back on track.”

  1. Lyndsay Says:

    You can do it! Weight loss is hard, but worth the effort. 🙂 Blood, sweat and tears babe!

  2. ebonnie Says:

    So true and thank you 🙂

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