Chocolate mono diet, cute Latin guy I can’t have, and still considered obese.

Tomorrow aka today (its 1:10am) I want to start a mono chocolate diet. Not into the healthy way at all. Maybe if I was 14 years old with time on my side, but at 27…um…no. Mono diets are healthy in a way your body has to process one type of food. I love chocolate,but also love pasta, sweet cereals, hamburgers….so this diet will be hard for me too. I may post progress pics after…maybe. I want to try to do this for 2-3 days…deep down I want ten days, but I fail a lot to even think of ten days.

I’m just going to buy one large regular (no almond candy bar and eat a piece here and there)

I got the mono chocolate idea from here:

http://www.myproana.com/index.php/topic/79676-the-chocolate-diet/

I plan on following her guidelines. I may get dark chocolate for its benefits.

Going to take a break for the scale. I have been for a few days. I will just depend on my clothes temp. then go back to my scale obsession (more so after using the bathroom).

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At my apt. we have a new security guard. Mexican, brown skin, and jet black hair, and average build. I learned my lesson about guys. If they appear too good to be true they don’t want a fat girl. I think I was 19 when a South African guy at work I had a crush on. He had short black curly hair and eyes large like a deer in head lights and unlike me he had brown freckles on his cheek (mines located on my tongue sad yes). I made it, so obvious I liked him…but noooooooooooooooooooooooo oh no he went after thin girls in two piece bikinis who giggled that he followed them leaving the work place onto the beach itself! I admit I was glad his thin two piece loving self had to return back to South Africa due to his visa being up. On his last day he simply told me bye and tried to exchange e-mails. I threw it away. I won’t be used to aide in your green card ONLY for me to be fat, dumped as he becomes  citizen for thin girls of America. Anyway I thought this new guard looks cute. Part of me wants grab onto his ankles and beg him to take me with him! Me a fat limping, ankle spur hurting, tired woman is not ideal right now. Some years ago a guy from Spain who was a manager told me nicely I continue to look at him….I told him thank you. And I continued to stare afar as he continued to stare at the very slim, blonde, tanned manager from the other department. I didn’t get him, and he didn’t have her (secretly happy at his outcome). Barbie then had quit her job for better pay and something about her adopting a daughter from Asia somewhere. He was left me with fantasizing. Likely sucked for him. Kinda like having  a bad a** rock band and all your fans are screaming fat girls.

So like all men that look good I will continue with eye candy and can only dream. All the small talk and at the end he tells me good night ma’am 😦   ma’am…..

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Going to study myself to sleep.

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8 Responses to “Chocolate mono diet, cute Latin guy I can’t have, and still considered obese.”

  1. A guy Says:

    I’ve read some of your posts including this one and I’d say don’t be afraid to pursuit the guys you want. Not every guy you desire to date will be into you, but once in a while you’ll meet a guy that likes you and that’s up to your standards. As a quite fit guy, I’ve dated several women of all sizes and lack of interest had nothing to do with their size but personality.

    Don’t believe the myth that no guy will “date outside their league” I’ve had dates that were big women who dated fit men exclusively themselves and hence, were more picky in terms of appearance than me. That wasn’t a showstopper, the thing is I’d be totally ok with that if they had a good personality and didn’t just want to have me as a show off. And while I can’t speak for the number of men like me or may not be able to dismantle the myth that it may seem too good to be true some of us are surely out there. I’d easily keep fit and attractive for a woman as long as we have a deeper connection.

  2. ebonnie Says:

    I agree the guys I want are usually not into me, but due to size. Also thank you for your kind words, but when you say all sizes….have you dated girls size 22-24 before? Big women the meaning is different per person.

  3. A guy Says:

    Yup, I’ve dated women of size 22-24 as well and for me the reason it didn’t work out were their personalities. A couple of them were just mean and the last one turned out very insecure about dating a fit guy in the end and when I was working on toning my abs for the summer season she thought I was doing it for another girl. But I was really doing it for her as she said that she loved well defined abs on a guy.

  4. ebonnie Says:

    Hard to believe. Ok. Did you take these plus size women on dates? Did they pay? Did you require sex asap? How did you treat them? And do you have any goals or met any goals?

  5. A guy Says:

    Yes, as a wrote in my last comment I’ve taken some of them on dates. I paid the first few times, then we often shared. Every relationship will include sex at some point but it’s not what I expect on the first date. You’d have to ask them about how I treated them but I’d like to think I treated them well.

    What kind of goals are you referring to?

  6. ebonnie Says:

    You sound normal. I don’t know if you have met it yet, but when I say goals. Goals that if you wanted a family you could afford one. Like my sister is dating a guy in retail. Which is fine, but he is comfortable with her supporting him, refuse to try to be maybe a manager, or store manager ect. just happy being a low wage stock worker. Goals don’t always mean college. Just something positive that has a better outcome financially. Hope this makes sense.

  7. A guy Says:

    Sure, I see what you mean now. I have both met and have new goals and have a normal engineering type of job .

  8. ebonnie Says:

    I’m impressed.

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