So I have a interview at Krispy Kremes tomorrow….

Yesterday with almost 3000$ on me thanks to my student loan (or I would be on the streets by now). I was in a special mood. I was fat, acne prone and didn’t give a hoot. I wore a average over worn grey and white strip shirt ( strips they say isn’t good since it makes you look wider), and a burgundy colored long christian girl skirt that goes down to the ankles. I wore this when I was in middle school when going to a christian school temp. Its so average and plain my mom even hates it, gave a extra of the same skirt to a family friend  years ago and she even threw it away. 

I even wore dirty one and a half year old grey sneakers, no socks, no make up, my acne made a scene and I didn’t care. I look nice I still don’t get the job, too fat to be employed. I see a decent guy and over the years I learned that any crush or feelings for any guy will soon fade away because the guys I like never want me because well I’m fat. Only guys who want me are ones who see a fat girl and think I will take anyone.

I went out after waking up late 11am something, watching Maury…I mean I applied pass 100 of job applications. Today I was thinking why care. I went to fedex to pick up a package. Then went next door to pets mart and got a small scratch post for my cats and a random toy for them. I then walked back to Pot bellies. I never been there before, but what the hell I though I’m fat 315 pounds what will make a difference now?

I then started walking and walked real slow, slower then ever due to my size . I thought about how 600 pound people stay inside due to their size and what not. If employed they would have routine and their eating maybe still huge, but it’s not as bad if you have o have lunch at a certain time and keep working after…no laying and sitting round eating through out the day. Really obese folks like me should be employed!

As I was eating the brownie cookie and polishing off the last bit of sandwich from pot bellies. Across the street was a rare sighting. A Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. At the time I honestly forgot I had the brownie cookie and was now thinking I need dessert. My walking stiff, and felt myself about to limp because the short walk was becoming too much. I mean it was almost two years ago working at the job that took me from 300 to 249 then I was laid off and I recall semi jogging, feeling almost sexy, worthy and guys who never looked at me began to see I existed. Here I am 315 and walking like a wounded person, limping across the street making sure a car doesn’t run me over headed to my addiction.

On the door was a ad for the new doughnut pies and the apple pie stood out to me. I stop to try and repair my walking. Then thought who cares. I did notice the for hire sign. I saw the guy inside and thought i better not apply. I looked a hot mess.

Then thought of the many times I looked good and because of my size never got a call back. I thought who cares now?

I said excuse me can I have the apple pie….of course I ordered my food first and a grape drink.

I then asked about the job and both full and part time was available. He then told me that other locations were going to open as well meaning they are doing great in business.

It took me almost a hour to apply since I was busy texting and sitting down. Nowhere to go to care. I headed my application and saw my reflection and continued on. I didn’t expect a call and went home thinking what will I do?

I got a call today! I answered thinking it was so bill that was due or my new insurance policy or something else thats not exciting and a thrill.

I couldn’t hide my excitement! I was shocked….but I took myself back down. Until I get the job then its not important or anything to celebrate.

I looked online at pay rates. I thought back at the job where I was becoming thin, making 11.55 a hour… lower wage and fatter then anything.

The average pay I found online thanks to is 7 something to 8 a hour 😦

Its a start I guess. The manager pay is 11-12 a hour :/ I was making 11.55 just as a stock worker. Not even a manager.

If I can get my cna license updated I will have to work two jobs just to finally leave the hood, get a car, and ….

Anyway. I hope for the best tomorrow and hope the manager surprises me by hiring me and offer me at least 9 a hour? I hope someday the law makes min wage at least 10 a hour. Everything is going up and becoming more costly even rent in unsafe areas go up. Yet pay stays so low making owners millionaires and billionaires overnight.

Glad I don’t have any kids. Would be even harder and more costly.


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