size 18 pants falling down, broken scale,learning about thin women clothes,being thin doesn’t mean life is over…EAT, increased male attention,and why someday this blog will be forever removed

Im back. I still managed to keep my job after all that drama so far in the past. This March marks a year being there. The longest I been at any job….

Next month going to pay in full, so I can get my blood drawing license.

Today was my second driving lesson and I have mastered not doing wide turns, and my braking is still perfect from the first lesson she taught me how to brake without us both going forward lol.

Life is blah, but decent. I started a another full time job….couldn’t handle working 6am to 2pm then 3pm to 11pm the same day. I quit for that reason and others such as cursing, rude residents. I applied at mc Donalds …..lol. I got hired on the spot as part time, but they have to see if they can get me on another day for orientation since I can’t put my real job on hold again. If not can’t take the job.

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MY PANTS:

My pants size 18 are dropping yet the scale is telling me I am gaining :/

People at work are amazed and ask what Im doing yet the scale says Im bigger and shouldn’t be even able to get into my size 18.

My scale had me depressed for a few days and had a greek yogurt with honey and fresh berry binge. Strange yes, but put all that together and you will get its a tasty binge!

I now have to wear a belt with pants aka a 18, I said ok this scale is lying!

My weight unknown. I could be 240, 230? Just don’t know. This coming pay day I will buy a new one to find out. Here I am depressed and yet look smaller to everyone else.

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Learning about thin women clothes

Being the former 300 pound girl. I wore large shirts and pants/jeans. I wore short shorts (that went to the knees aka camper shorts) only once when I was like 17. Two girls looked at my legs in disgust and I never wore them again. Im 25 and oddly never threw them away. I guess a part of me wants to put them on again someday and brave it. At 300 they wore kinda tight. I think I can fit them now. Since I work for a high retail store that sells pricey name brand stuff. I mean the shirts for these thin girls are really dresses, they have these odd names for items I never dared looked at due to my size. If I did would only hurt me. I can’t even spell the name of these things. It has always been shirt, jeans the end. Thats why I like my stock team its pants and shirt the end. No dressing up like sales people everyday. I have to learn on top of everything else on thin dressing. I have a idea, but some clothes make zero sense to me. On top of understanding if a guy says hi to me he really means me (not always the case Im still fat, but now…..)

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Being thin doesn’t mean never eating again!

There are smart thin girls who make it look like they eat and do nothing, then silly ones who everyone sees that ok thats why she is thin. My friend with HOURS of exercise, and eating under x amount of calories has managed to get a date offer. I told her were still fat girls, but not extreme as before, so go date….but never take it serious. Fat girls are known as a guys best playground. Some stay since it is fun, cool to hang out in, and not bad at all. Some guys see this play ground as a visit and out….nothing serious only to see his face book updated of his found soul mate size 4.

Its ok to date as a plus size person, but don’t have your hopes up too high until he makes it clear he wants you! As a thin girl your hopes can be super high and if he leaves you then yes be shocked and hurt since the chances of that happening as a real slim lady is just about the same as winning the lotto.

My friend worked hard…I mean here I was eating 300-500 calories which is hard, BUT she was eating maybe 600-800 and EXERCISE. She didn’t want to ruin her diet and results with one simple date. I told her the whole point of our weight loss is to GET A DATE then MARRIAGE. I mean I was thinking why lose weight just because? Ok health (yawn), but still!

I told her to exercise like 30 min hardcore before the date to get her body in calorie burning mode. Eat like a fat girl (aka like I want to) order steak, mash potatoes, a drink with calories in it……the thinner you are and the more you eat like a plus size lady…guys love this! They hate a thin date….who eats like she is thin. Twisted yes, but they want Barbie with a appetite.

After date just do 20 min exercise, the next day eat real low to fight off yesterday. Or other means to release food….The end.

Thats another reason why I love pro ana girls they are on it! Notice how some of them take pictures of themselves eating or pretending to bite into some huge burger, or making a video of them eating this large plate of food? They are only fooling the public and once the camera is off that could be it for the whole day, or a hour or two of jogging ect. or better hardly eating the next day.

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Increased male attention.

My crush I use to have is..even more talkive. I mean I didn’t have to say good morning to get any talk out of him. The other guy who was nice….but is nicer. I mean he is talking even more to me, the serious guy who see me every morning without a word said hi. I noticed when I did slip up and gain all that shut down! Its like I know people are noticing, I even inspired a co-worker who only saw me and felt she too needed to try. I mean if I can shade some weight so could she right? I got kinda nervous with my former crush I asked him is he ok? He is being too nice. I mean thats not normal….I looked in the mirror and thought oh yea I forgot Im losing weight and carried on. Recently my fav co-worker I saw who i didn’t see in a good moment lost weight! She is white and I recall in the middle of last year this super fat black girl had the nerve to hint to her about weight loss. I was shocked when she changed the subject quickly (this happens to me with my own race…part of me likes to talk about weight loss with others even if Im not losing. Such as a 400 pound black lady cut me off real fast. Just like sports is a guys favorite mines is diet….for life.) I thought ok maybe she has a black boyfriend somewhere and talked her into believing she is trim and almost anorexic with love handles. My race and other races who date black men who do complain about fat women, but will run to one fast!! And make you feel you need even more meat on your already meaty bones.

I was wrong and she looked amazing! I was like how can she come from a culture thats pro slim and vouge……even if she never lost A pound the desire I thought would be there.

Outside of work I get attention. No not homeless men and pant saggers without a cause. Average guys who appear normal. Its not daily, but I see improvement.

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This blog is here for now, but not forever.

I will create a another blog in the future just pics of my thin self posing with fries and a double patty whooper. Or french kissing a cupcake in my size 2/4 clothes, or looking sexy into the camera making sure my collar bones are showing, with mini posts about how I eat 2000 calories a day, telling women if a guy don’t like you at a size 16 then leave him! As I hit the gym praying I can burn off yesterdays cupcake so I can look real trim for my future hubby. Taking pictures of me as a new era betty Crocker with a smile, pics of me cleaning with a larger smile…..hey that blog will be linked to my dating ad and will be given to guys interested in me in person! I won’t be a fake either I would really cook and clean for a guy I like! I will even have pics of me in wedding dresses to hint that if you don’t like this pic you can go and LEAVE marriage minded guys only.

My life will be filled with me being thin. Making sure the guests drinks have calories and mines don’t. Making sure to empty a 20 oz mountain dew and fill it with water (no one can tell whats in that green bottle) and drink it and have people amazed how I can drink just about five 20 oz bottles of sugar and acid and yet stay so skinny its unreal!

The smaller I get the stronger the urge I been having to bring in sweets, and goodies to my thin co-workers and hope they transform into me. The bigger they can get the happier I will be. Its twisted that I want others to be happy too, but deep down the increase in obese people will allow me and my friend to stick out in a sea of plus size ladies.

My blog shouldn’t exist. I want to join the love yourself the way you are crew 🙂

Don’t worry about having decent hairstyles that fit you, girl go wild like a untamed bird :D, don’t worry about choosing a hair color that fits you (go with the famous person you like), go crazy!

Curse like a sailor, pick you nose in public and like the hood says do you!

We dress right for a interview, we understand we should wait our turn, we change ourselves without knowing it to fit in sometimes or to stand out either way if we can do all that why do many not understand that you may have to do the same to attract the type of person you want?

If being a better looking person means being a size 2….bring it! My stomach still chit chats at times, but it is so worth it!

Date or brownie

Cute guy checking me out or thug lovin checkin me out

Fashion or walmart clothes ONLY (not sometimes, but only…I refuse to spend alot on fat clothes)

I will continue to blog here for now, but my blog ……don’t want too many to think and say hmmm she has a point. Too many thin girls exist already as it is!

TIPS:

*I warm a cup of water at work on 70-88 minutes. I sip on it to stop the desire for food when I know Im not hungry. It helps vanish cravings.

*If possible I take a nap tired or not. Alot of times im tired and craving food to help keep me up. After a nap I no longer crave or feel hungry for a few hours.

*If I pulled a no no….the shower head is removed so water shoots out like a hose. I drink water first( a good amount!), get in shower and allow the hose to hit the back of my throat makes you gag…..and then…um splash? Do this at most twice a month to none.

*Buy a box of fiber one bars the 35% and eat the whole box and drink water too. This is extreme and yes has calories….but makes you do a serious…..and better then lax tea. Do this on the rare and your stomach will hurt.

*Self talk alone when no one is near. I mean talk out where only your ears can hear it. Self talking in the mind is not taken serious, but when you hear yourself….even if you slip up the chances are less higher then just in the mind….yes I do this almost daily lol.

*This is hard for me since Im the clean your plate type of person. This morning I bought a pancake wrap. I ate half and threw it on the ground fast….yes regret hit me, but worth it. By tasting my food the pancake wrap from 7-11 I tasted the freezer and box it came from, low quality food. The old me eats anything good or not in taste and since I have issues letting it go still I threw it to the ground. My future children will thank me or they would never exist!

Good night for now….zzz 12:21am

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