Your too pretty to be single………………….today my day was made. And pills…………

For the past few days I have been researching  surgeries such as a body lift after weight loss, fat transfers for my chest, and how to make ugly feet pretty and if a surgery existed for that? My thoughts were like maybe I will be stuck in this ghetto to save up and collect large amounts of debt to be able to look in the mirror knowing with or without a guy I look unnaturally amazing. I even discovered the term fillers for any lines on your face like since I was a teen I had these slight lines. I learned its normal and  alot of teens do have it too, but thats no comfort!

After work at 2pm. I waited for a group job interview till 3:30pm.

I wanted to leave so bad and walk home to bed, but what if I could of gotten the part time job?

With some strange tasting, yet good italian cake from a near by restaurant. I waited. (Like I could wait with a smile without  a food item to keep off the sleep!)

Well the group interview was pretty good. I made four of the managers laugh and others wanting the job as well. One sad story as we were all to take turns answering the same question. A Ethiopian girl said she has nine brothers and sisters in Africa (I know many feel its wrong to think this….but I am a poor person. I believe in birth control of some form……) and they are struggling and how she got lucky to be in this country, but struggling here with three part time jobs. I met Africans who seen and heard of Oprah and how Americans travel there to help them, they don’t even believe homeless people exist in AMERICA! They come here and wish they could go back home. My ex roommate who is African said all he do is work, work,work, and how he only worked one day a week and was able to get a taxi and ride his bike, but all he do is work here. I said…right.

There was a cute guy sitting next to me. He had the Texan accent, but he looked cute so it was forgiven.

Long story short the managers got busy and couldn’t do a one on one interview after for us all.

I didn’t complain since I was tired just from coming from work!

I then found he was 18 this cute guy I thought was 20-22 of age.

I was blown away. I remember being in high school and some students looked like adults.

He said I bet your 25 of age I said wow how you know?! No one ever guesses my exact age.

He saw that I was walking and since we did just come from a group interview I thought ok he should be safe. I never take rides from people in my area no matter what.

We rode, talked, I breathed since he is still a guy of legal adult age (lol I know)

He said you must be with someone, you can’t be single. I said I am 😦

I know he was trying to see if I would be interested (due to racial differences and my race of women known to shun all things of all other races who tend to have a better father figure track record, but a jail record and dark skin its hell yea! Or no record and has random kids from other women , list goes on.)

I then brushed him off saying well I don’t want to date anyone in my area.

He said your too pretty to be single.


That made my day because im still fat.

And I will fix my credit so I can go under the knife to look my ideal. My nose seems fine, my lips are perfect not too plumped and not too thin its my favorite part of me.

I have a lot of repairing to do and I care less of those who say love your self when all these actual hot, non butter faced looking thin women are having men hunt them DOWN.

I am currently sick, to the point my voice doesn’t exist really. Yet I made an appointment to see a doctor….about a popular pill used for one thing…but gives you weight loss aka makes you so not hungry you have to force yourself to eat! And energy is boundless.

I came from Florida binge eating still, these pills will give me a break from struggling to fight off cravings for food everyday. Curling up at night thinking I can do this I don’t have to eat…I can make it….until I fall a sleep.


It was nice to be called pretty then the other nasty stuff that makes you feel so unpretty.

Only three years ago a skinny black dude in his 50’s came from behind the kitchen, outside from kfc where he worked as a fry cook (he told me) to tell me how I got a nice fat ass, and he love him a large woman (he had serious bags under his eyes), and can he have my number? I said no and from then on walking home I never passed kfc again.

If I have a son I promise to teach my son how to talk to a woman he is interested in. And if he meets a crazy one who feels he is too nice to them or not gangsta enough to move on really fast!

Today Im 259 😦 so slow due to …slip ups.



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