I want this slim body, I want to appear feminine, graceful, beautiful.

I don’t want the body of a phat girl, nor do I no longer want to attract attention from those who want me to back that thing up, Its trashy and cheap. I want the body that says respect me, love me, desire me, look at me. I want it real bad.
The body that says just because Im black doesn’t mean Im precious the girl from the movie, or your friendly neighborhood pine sol woman, nor proud and loud about my love for my curves. Being thin means Im special that I am this rare jem you won’t find else where in every place you go.

You can call me ugly, anything you want, but all that would matter is I am THIN. I can shop anywhere and be proud to be called a stick or be told Im starving myself because that just means I have made it to my ideal. What I would be happy seeing in the mirror daily, dressing up daily, going outdoors daily, knowing I can buy cake and won’t be judged by it nothing would matter just that I am thin, thin,thin,thin,thin,thin!

The wonderful men, the women asking me for diet tips…which all will be lies of how I eat cheese cake daily and hamburgers every 3 hours, being able to run, and do so much….

I don’t want to be bbw (doesn’t mean big black woman *shakes head*), nor plus size, curvy, ample, or anything that means large.

I want to be called stick, slim, thin anything but the above.

I will always support those who show fat pride (from popular sites) or feeders and what not, but for myself never.

Being thin I won’t be viewed as the jolly good times, but sexy, deserving, smart, ect.

It made me so upset months ago when aol news mentioned the beauty of black women all where thin very thin perfect black women and of course in the comment area large whats happin type men and women were like they are too thin…I almost lost it , but gave thanks to the site for not putting up yet another large black woman in the media. Another large one gives excuse that we were not made to be slim yet in Africa in the good areas some of the women are slim and are just fine.

Just because were black doesn’t mean were suppose to be fat.

They can believe it, but I will never buy it.

Every time they have some form of success story on tv the black woman who lost weight is still fat, but other races look like REAL success stories its annoying sometimes, but I can be my own success story by myself.

And we wonder why we were put down so harshly no one should call the other ugly, but I noticed Asians can share the same nose as blacks. My friend is asian and my nose is smaller then hers, BUT she is thin and thats all that matters. Any culture who is proud to be large tends to be called the ugly one. No race to me is ugly since ugly exists in all races just like cancer can happen to all races at the end are just humans.

I seen some amazing looking black women who are thin and I want to have their weight so bad it hurts.

I go skinny watching of all races from black,white,asian,indian it doesn’t matter they all look great and even if some are butter faced they look amazing from the neck down the same area men seem to only notice.

It brings me comfort in knowing that other black girls/women are looking to be thin…not the thin thats really just chubby, but beautiful thin. Slowly I see sites of black girls making it happen. All I had was more of white thinpos which I am very grateful of them, but now I see myself in these girls proving its possible for me too.

Sometimes I go on sites such as pretty thin or black thinspo type sites in hopes it rubs off on me.

Taking one day at a time…someday..someday I will be perfect too.

 

 

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