Yesterday morning I was 268, today I’m 262.2 pounds, and my worries, and a awful confession…..

Yesterday I had only a bad of frozen (of course heated) brocolii which was 120 calories and three things of diet coke. Oddly yesterday after working 8 and a half hours straight I didn’t have the feeling to binge when I should have after seeing the face of my former ride, plus other stuff going on at work! Oddly I felt a sense of I don’t need the chcolate cake and Im ok.


So 120 calories was really not eating at all even though the bag of brocolii was filling during lunch time with salt less seasoning.

That is why I had a huge weight drop today.


Today as I am typing it is 12pm and I am eating for the first and last time today.

Yes the salt came back in my life…lol.



180 calories worth of chcolate ice cream……yes had to force myself to stop I mean it was a half a cup for a serving 😦

125 calories of frozen section cauliflower

10 calories worth of dressing

0  Coca-cola zero cherry flavor YUM

100 calories of slice cheese

120 of baked chicken

All the above was really good and filling.

All the above is 535 calories.


Will be honest if a cheese cake was in front in me it would have won! And it is less filling. I had to fight the urge for pizza hut…my body and mind understands on days off I would get pizza hut happy.


Yes I believe I will be 230 pounds before my if I keep it up.

I can’t exercise or do anything now since my feet hurts to the point it takes time to stand…..since I been on my feet one day for 8 hours…plus one hour to walk to a tax place that had me waiting for ages…..and had to walk a two hour trip back…..yes so after my feet are feeling up to it I will put my dvds on!




My stress right now is school and work.

Will I ever master getting blood most of the time? I mean it can’t be due to luck or on the rare.

I need this license to have worth, to get me out the ghetto, and a better life for myself to be able to pay for my education and have a car!

Will my job fire me for complaining too much? Im going to print off important stuff that I write my managers of whats going on.

I love the company, but not always the people. Its like I solved one issue the former ride and now have another one someone who use to manage now wants to play boss when our real managers are not here. The new one is learning and getting good and bad advice.

I wanted to stay, but with this going on …if I can master the art of blood drawing and make my fantasy wage I am so out!


My confession I am working on is deep down …….Im happy America, the UK and other places are getting bigger.

I feel the bigger others are the more hotter I will appear and can have my choice of guy I want. If he has all these skinny women to choose from …I may not get him or who ever.

I want everyone to be happy and even be a size 14……but if everyone loses weight and becomes a size 6 and under… 😦

Selfish yes, but I fear that if more women aim to be sizes 6 and under,…???

My culture is perfect lol most want the size 10 and up as their ideal 😀

But the rest of the women….

I am working on that its like I been fat for too many years not to get the best guy in my eyes/opinion.

Reminds me I been off the dating site world for three days. All that e-mailing and no meet ups to say hi…eh.



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