So you have super long hair, and in a nutshell tanned/bronzed skin…also racial stuff not for every one

Im still alive, I went up to 270 😦 Just eat ,eat, eat…..I feel ruined, but tonight been throwing away high sugar foods, forgotten outdated stuff. My ice box now is filled with bags of salad, pre made baked chiken, some atkin shakes, water, and other low carb items such as sugar free ketup,steamed veggies.

I believe before my trip of Feb. 17 I can at least be 220-230. I never weighed that amount in many years and I hope Im seat friendly for who ever is stuck next to me ….hours later.

At 200 with the height of 5’10 I will appear normal. Not fat/thick/chubby/, nor will I appear ultra thin, and hollywood ready. Just average.

The bigger I get the worse attention I get. Like mentioned before just because I’m black doesn’t mean I will date black with gold teeth, and crazy slang with no future. I had three on my tail all day and I had my life flash before me with their kids, another single black woman caring for them alone, and on welfare for life, as he creates more kids else where. I won’t let that be my future and if being a size 2 with zero butt is what it takes I’m willing! I would be awful as a single parent, stress would climb so high, and the food binges to a 500 pound woman, and trying to raise the self worth of kids living in a non safe area, and I have no kids and school is already hard as it is. Just think if I had a child no husband no support…I can forget a education for sure. Just high priced day cares and two-three jobs until they reach 18. From past friends, people I know, family, strangers both black and white women…..when dating and being with black guys…honestly you have to be careful if you want children and believe you will require support from your partner. All races of guys can be awful….but…percentage wise…..

I need 8 more sticks to go before taking the test and getting my phelbotmy license! I still need to learn how to get blood each time. So far just the correct way…but no blood. No blood no job in it.

So a good friend of mines on the large side of things with amazing features, long hair, dress to the 9’s, tanned, kept repeating to me how she has long hair, over…and over…and over, and how she had these great shoes, yet was turned down for a girl with very..very short hair…kinda like susan powters aka fitness lady, but she was average in looks, but just very thin. I said…ok….right shes thin. Didin’t matter if she had no chest, and the face of a stray cat she wins!
I never understood her or others who feel just because they are a great daughter, faithful to God, educated they get turned down by a practicing witch with a size 4 body.

No race is ugly over the other. What makes one race highly praised then the others is if shes slim or not.
Then comes in popular behaviors.
Like my asian friend she has a dirty mouth aka cursing, size zero, but shes thin aka highly viewed, and plus the women have made it out they are mainly good and well behaved, so a few bad asian women or very American won’t ruin the whole lot.
Now for my race they have them fighting, cursing, random acts of dumbness, I was scared as I watched a group of black ladies at it fighting like animals on tv I had to beg for someone I know to turn her channel she refused as she rooted them on! So black women have a huge bad rep. and a few good won’t change that.
Being thin is seen as womanly, but I noticed my race of women tend to want the bodies of the two popular tennis playing sisters. They are great at their sport, but years later I still don’t understand why anyone besides male want the body of a female body builder?

Im going on and on, but I will have my womanly body. I want to be so thin I cause envy and concern!


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2 Responses to “So you have super long hair, and in a nutshell tanned/bronzed skin…also racial stuff not for every one”

  1. Corner of Confessions Says:

    Was wondering what happened to you. Glad to see you back. I have been off my diet for forever now, i need to get back on track too. It’s so hard to stay on a schedule when working retail. Even now when my hours are cut real down, i work maybe 3-4 hours 2 or 3 days a week now. Sometimes i work two days five hours shifts. But it’s always odd hours like closing. But the time it takes to travel there and get all nicely dressed and hair done and taking care of chores and my dog before i leave.. it feels like i rush around all day trying to get everything done then rush off to work. Then when i get out of work its and get home its 11pm and i eat horribly. I really want to get back on track though. Everyone works and I dont want to use that as an excuse anymore.

  2. ebonnie Says:

    I’m still here for sure, just having ups and downs with my body. Thinking of finding a free yoga class or some type of relaxing class may set me back on track. Mines are cut down too! I heard it picks back up around Easter for us 🙂
    I’m glad I have saved some money to the side just in case!

    Its like when retail was crazy busy for x-mas and Thanksgiving I was losing weight and it was a wonderful feeling. Things slowed down and like you we have been given days off thats not our normal, shorter hours….should be the perfect time to up my workout!

    Lets not give up, summer will return….

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