Total stranger with a hole in his neck grabs my fat arm on purpose!!!! Former ride again.

A hour and a half ago after a long day at work (again) I decide to head over to walmart to get a few cooking items…eating at the mall is too pricey and after buying x-mas gifts I need to cut back on the spending. I found on spark people a cool recipe to make chocolate cake using only tofu and cake mix no eggs or milk!!!! I thought that sounds like less calories for a favorite of mines. I am done buying 2 dollars a slice of chocolate cake at the mall and 2.50 for a normal size brownie at the mall I even told them thats why they hardly have business due to the high prices!!

I even going to make home made pocket pizzas that will of course have less calories and tons of lettuce and mushroom for bulk.

So anyway I go into wal-mart. I see the huge tray of cakes chocolate stands out so nicely. Hershey, deep chocolate cake. I place one in my cart and as Im looking for whole wheat pocket bread for my pizzas (pita bread) I was like oh yea Im going to make my own cake! I place the cake back to find the things (tofu, and whip cream for topping) I needed to create my first cake ever! I asked a employee where is the tofu and he laughed and said I never looked for tofu, but it may be over there!

I laughed because I do get the hidden joke as a black person many of us are not racing out for tofu.
The tofu is next to the lettuce makes sense I thought.

All of a sudden a man with a voice of a harsh frog who has been choked and lived to tell the story came and looked at me. He was a black guy in his late 50’s to early 60’s. He had a napkin over his neck and once he talked the white couple who were looking at tofu with me got the heck away and I regret not joining them. He sounded creepy due to his throat.
He then says holding his neck so he would be able to speak words…without holding his neck only his lips would be moving with no words.

He then tells me he is glad I put the cake back….and me being in the salad area was like I thought to myself um no cake let me go for rabbit food for my health (rolls eyes).

I thought at first he was looking for help, but after he said that…..

I said no I put it back because Im making my own cake at home. He then tells me my butt is pretty large and that I don’t need any cake!!! Yes a man with a hole in his neck from his own addiction of smoking is talking about my body and health!? Cake is not going to leave me with a hole in my neck. No morbidly obese person has a hole in their neck from soda’s, cake and cookies, and pasta NONE. I told him that I will just call 911 since you are clearly bothering me plus there are police in this Wal-Mart. He then starts walking away saying he don’t want no trouble and sorry for bothering me, I said uh huh and if you continue I have no fear calling the cops.

Like I said before at my job they knew I was 300 pounds when I first started I told one today as she said Im looking so much better and how my waist going in (and shhhh been eating chocolate cake 4 days in a row!). My job recalls me limping daily no matter what. They recall me at my largest. I now can go up three flights of stairs without stoping…I still breathe super hard trust me, but I have gotten better. Outside of work total strangers didn’t see me before and now and really rude comments exist, but keep it to yourself or talk to someone else as long as I don’t hear it!

I was dead serious about calling the police, in middle school was unpopular snitch. If I see it and if my life is at risk too 911 to the max!! I love our force and yes some bad apples exist in any job, but I have true respect for officers always.

I was more taken a back by him feeling his addiction which was smoking which caused a hole in his neck had the nerve to feel he was the subject of good health!! I hate being fat, but rather be fat and have a neck. It takes me back during my shy teen years and I had to be 230 pounds and 5’10 in height. I was chubby to some, fat to others and not too bad since a stranger pointed out this larger woman and said look how fat she is just nasty to look at. I was shy, and shocked because I was fat too, but my height gave me some grace. And yes the woman was a smoker.

Also me eating a whole cake daily won’t cause lung disease either.

Enough of that and once Im thin like really thin people will love you and people will hate you.Thats why I think of Britney Spears because I wasn’t a fan growing up ….I was jealous of her I admit that, people were like Britney this and that. Her life so perfect and her perfect words and beats. Her name perfect it was just so Britney! Then she left my crush Justin for K-fed…yes I was happy…Im guilty. Then she put on weight….she seemed human, then she shaved her hair and tried to knock the windows out of her ex car I believe….next she was crazy, then her melt down….all this and millions know of her un-perfect life…I listened to her music and now a fan of it. I understand its not her voice I heard and someone writes her songs….but I still like it. I allowed me being jealous of her to almost miss out in her wonderful music and to learn that if I think me being embarrassed in public is something try being Britney spears and have millions see your life! I am a fan, but not a fan.

Me and my former ride got into it today. I was in a rush to hurry. She looked upset…..I recall many of times in the pasts that she just come to work looking mad and I would ask her whats wrong and she would tell me I don’t know its just some days she is moody. She is in her 60’s, but its not the age because many 60’s something and older people men and women are such good folks….and sane.
I was going to the elevator and she the opposite direction, she yelled angrily to wait for her!!! In my mind Im like whoooo huh? I kept going and said I will if your coming now!
Next were both in the elevator. I ask her why is she angry? She says: IM SICK! I say thats interesting since when Im sick I don’t randomly yell at people nor have the strength to anyway. She then says you can wait 30 seconds. I give her the silent treatment.

I have waited before only to be standing there waiting 3-5 minutes!!! I then just left after.

So I walk out and then say let me hurry and get out your way. I then head to HR and they are busy. I thought ok once she is finished I will then complain about my former ride and her behavior. That christian co-worker don’t play games and my former ride knows not to cross her, but me its ok. My friendly face equals doormat to many. I thought to myself that black guy knew not to bother some of the heavy black shoppers in walmart twice my size because they would tell him off! He also knew not to bother the other shoppers who were non-black….another issue of men of my race who do bother black women, but know better when it comes to other races….not all of course since my ex step dad did mooo out the window at a heavy set white lady. I was so angry because mooing at her was like mooing at me too 😦 I still wonder how did that stranger cope with his remarks out of the blue from nowhere driving by? I know how she feels though.

I don’t know if the voices in her head talked or what, but she came to my department to apologize to me. I was shocked. I w as like God must be on her side today because I was waiting for HR to finnish to report her there not my manager but HR.
She even said she works hard to avoid me and I told her good. In the back of my mind yes if you want to keep your job!!! She said I trigger her when I say I can’t wait.
I got honest too and said let me tell you this.
We had total strangers who don’t know you or me saw how you acted and told me your bossy and whats her problem?
That hushed her up!! She then just said she came to say sorry and that shes sick and by me saying I can’t wait triggered her response ….when she came angry to work naturally.

What a day…Im tired, but going to foce myself to make this tofu chocolate cake. I want to upload pics, but so lazy to find out my pass word ect. to do so.

I still can feel his nasty fingars touching and lightly clutching my large upper arm….the place that is last to slim down for sure. So far it has been my middle and my thighs that seemed to change. My upper arms look the same and able to swing and anyone can grab a handful. I know for a fact if I said hey I wanna date you he would still take my large armed obese self in a heart beat why? He has nothing to offer only show and tell of his hole and how he got it.

I know someday this will all be behind me and Im only maybe 80-100  pounds away from my ideal guy someone with GOALS, and wears a suit sometimes, and wants to have a family.

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