Im pissed off hours later!!!!!! *Yup work related*, some good news, and had food sex talk last night

I will admit I hate…hate …..hate my assistant manager. Yes she hired me on many months ago, but doesn’t change the fact she is rude.  Shes like my former ride, cool, seem nice, but bites hard and with my former ride her acting nice I would forgive and forget, try to brush it away ect. over time it became too much. The assistant manager got other people complaining about my former ride about how she is….all is ok between us, but I either don’t see her the whole shift, or rarely. Before I would see her hours in a day. Now the assistant is becoming too much. I brush it aside, even joke with her when she is acting normal,I never complain or report any unfair treatment such as why so and so and me always the only stock workers who have to clean up one level of the mall? I do it.  Im not the only one who has complained about our assist manager. my former ride too (her twin!), and other co-workers, but everyone’s afraid to speak up… TOGETHER. Not one here and there, or we just stay hushed up due to fear.

Since the holidays I been working 8-9 hour shifts. We all have one day off. Im the stock person people can count on to say yea I will stay after working 7 and a half hours since 6am!!!!! So today our manager asked if I could stay….it was time for me to go home I said well let me think about it. I went up stairs to put a item back, and decided ok I will help them box and gift wrap for 20-30 minutes thats better then zero right? I head down to tell him and BOOM there she is, even other workers once they learn that she is there they turn around and walk the other way!!  She is blunt and will say rude things or her tone of voice is horrible in front of others.

So she asks me Im I staying? I tell her just 20 minutes…she says what will 20 minutes do for us??? She then goes ok clock out and go home! I said ok how about 30? Angry expression on her face (remember I worked 7 and a half hours of ladder climbing, and opening boxes, and censoring ect.)and in a dirty tone in front of hurrying shoe sales people clock out go home! (she repeated clock out go home even after I said ok a hour) My face was hot I was truly embarrassed! I then tell her that our manager aka the one she assistants says I can stay a extra 30 minutes anyway she then tells in front of others near her in a nasty tone clock out go home! Two of them look at me  (including my once crush) trying to see whats going on and why she is sounding like that.

Im a adult and I was fuming mad I don’t want to be talked down like Im a dog or a toddler! I saw another worker complained to her about her and she said ooooo I know what you mean she is blunt and rude. She said she is only here for the money and then leaving for something better.

So tomorrow Im going to HR and telling her what happened ….maybe or I may give her a little info and let her know I will now start writing everything about my day, how Im treated, and talked down to. I will no longer keep hush just because she is assistant manager. I will write about today tomorrow and start keeping dates, time, and even trying to get people to sign as a witness. If she ever tries to get rid of me because she knows I may risk her job I want my proof ect. so I can get unemployment! And I promise I will be on unemployment for a long time they will pay me month after month after month for at least a couple of years as I apply for jobs such as fitness swimmer (I can’t swim), Doctor, Dentist, artist, fashion designer ect as I go to school and leave with family in Florida.

One thing for sure Im going to HR, I want her to fear me because she wants to keep her title and loyal ten years for the company.

And tomorrow I will write what happened today and from now on will continue to do so and things I notice. Thinking of sneaking my camera phone on so I can take pictures too so I can attach to that day. Pictures of what Im expected to do and such.

I go to work tomorrow she will feel how MAD I am with her for doing that to me. I have been mistreated by past managers, but not to the point I wish you would get promoted so you can do everyone a favor and leave. I like where I work, its hard, but not bad compared to being a nurse assistant I have one issue the former ride, now the assistant….as a nurse assistant you have about 5-7 people on you who want you to do everything alone.

I told her partner our manager how she talked to me and how rude she is and he tried to calm me down because I was out on the floor passing customers and sales person listening real good, he said its ok just relax you been working long hours and very hard and made up some lame excuse for her. He will likely tell her what I said and ask about it….which I hope so she has heads up for tomorrow.

1) Not telling her good morning maybe a weak fake smile (can’t help it, but its best she understands to really stay away from me!) She will likely say good morning and I will say it too…not as cheerful and I won’t be looking her way. Or a greater chance of pulling me to the side to talk about it and how she felt and blah blah blah to ease over her behavior again I will just say…ok. Nothing more to talk about.

2) when she comes to me and tries to smooth things over Im just going to say ok..uh huh…sure and no longer will I be fake smiling with her I mean Im too nice and then you act wrongful?

3)No small talk go annoy someone else PLEASE, and for a change how about the men for once?!

Were all adults and no one should be talked down to. Others have been angry how she talked to them to the point of cursing to themselves, hitting a object to release steam , ect. Me Im waddling my fat self right to HR. Cursing to myself is silly, and hitting a pillow or door whatever is not my style and sounds painful towards the knuckles.

If I was being paid at least 15 a hour….I would bite my tongue and once again ignore it. Ten a hour uh uh….

I told myself not to binge, and eating for no reason is pointless and won’t solve anything.I laid in bed once I got home today and tried to relax only to get up typing here. My type of day would call for pizza hut and a mountain dew really! So other things she has a bad habit of doing, but I let that slide, but telling me like that to clock out go home in that tone…I mean our manager he was willing to let me stay just 30 minutes, but instead I came across her first! Im going to try to continue my day, I know on Mondays I am working towards my license because either I get fired or get so mad one day I will walk off the job…another reason why I need two jobs. Quiting also means you allowed them to win its best to get fired really.

Can’t wait for tomorrow….

She needs to learn cause and effect. Your nice to so and so…so they in turn are kind to you.

Your mean and so and so stays away from you.


I woke up with a lot of self talk in my mind as always…you can do it, you have to get up anyway….it was 5am in the morning.

I slowly got up and noticed there was not really much pain in my  feet and ankles.

I brushed my teeth, got dressed in my size large shirt, size 18 pants,got my work bag together and headed out in the cold Texan air.

My walking felt kinda different and I looked at my cell phone….darn 5:30am meaning I missed the bus half way to work at least. Off I walked, and oddly I would always see the work building at 5:55am or at rare 5:54am instead I saw it at 5:47am. I was like no way…

The walk half way there a coworker (was too dark out to tell who) kept turning back to see me come near…she waved, I was walking….and guess what…guess what size 18 did to size 6/7??? I PASSED HER I PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Same one joking about my little pizza love joy saw me MEEE ME ME pass her, but then I got on my cell phone reading online news she she got to the building first. Later in the day she was like your walking is better you even passed me! I was shocked and didn’t know how to take it and said yea Im trying to get better so I can sleep in a little more. Just think when I get to a size 4 people will think I have roller blades on my feet no joke! I went up the three flights and still out of breath…but not like before not so extreme and I even stop breathing hard….a little sooner.

I have also noticed a little more energy after work too. Before because of all the limping and such I would get home and nap in my uniform only to wake up and its pitch dark out. Now Im up typing and may clean up my apt a little. I would only be able to on my days off. I see small improvements things taken for grated. I was 300-280 something crawling to the bathroom because I couldn’t stand up my feet and ankles were that much in pain…at times I had to call out from past jobs just to rest my feet for 24 hours so I can walk again.

I can’t risk jumping, and Im still obese and got a ways to go, but every pound makes a small change to your body. Everyone at my job knew they could out walk me and such. Thats why she kept looking back as I was near her, then pass her, it amazed her and me. Im not a fast walker yet…can’t be until I drop more weight.

I woke up today exactly 260.4 pounds.

Today I had a pasta salad a small bowl, and later a bowl of watermelon fuming on the way home with my red fruit. Has to be under a 1000 for sure….again.

My family and everyone else knows not to call me after 5pm lol. I mean when I get home I feel the rest of the day is mines to relax and be glad work is over. I talk all day at work and just need to enjoy the rest of my day. At times I will not talk after 7pm. I use to at 8:30 with the woman I loaned my ten to and paid it back and never called me again. I would stay waiting for her call because she would get out at 8pm and liked to talk to someone to her car in the dark and on the ride home over same topics everyday for the past two years knowing her…how bad Texen drivers are , and terrible co-workers, and what she was eating today, and the men her daughters get with. Now that she doesn’t talk to me anymore I feel kinda gulity that I no longer feel I have to talk to her at 2:30pm after her first job and 8pm after the second. I wouldn’t mind sometimes, but hearing about how bad drivers are….I rather be on the road like her it beats being on the bus for me. I feel kinda bad how things ended over ten dollars, but Im sorry she should get mad and tell her daughters to stop having sex with men who have zero not a job, nothing zero not even a dream and stop making babies where their mom has to beg for ten dollars just to make it! Anyway….my whole point is I don’t enjoy talking later unless….

This girl I use to work with, I never call her and she never calls me. I don’t know when she is busy and what not. She texted me Hey, I texted back hi and school is doing great. She then calls me asap after seeing me up at 9pmish.

We talked about our old jobs, how being in a nursing home is just a way to collect money off the old and give them terrible care, how we were treated, and our goals and how for our age we need to be making more money. We both were two girls who wanted better bodies, she wanted the thick look and me I wanted the model look (sucks in cheeks) we couldn’t relate on our body goals, but both agreed to wanting to lose weight….as we snacked on candy bars, soda, and placed our orders for food from the kitchen.

Me a size 18 and her still over that size somewhere. We talked and she said girl you know on pay day don’t you want to spend your money on food?? I then thought back that pay days (yes todays my pay day and I was tempted to eat MORE) and on pay day met fast foods,home cooked foods, and cakes and what not then feel sorry the next day as the scale inched up a pound or two. I laughed so hard because I thought that was just me! Something about pay day may trigger friends to go out for drinks, but would trigger me on a fast food solo hunt.

We then got on cheese cake and I was like no you didn’t! (in a black girl way) I said I LOVE me some cheese cake…can you believe we stayed up till 11pm talking about cheese cakes, the toppings, bbq ribs and mash potatoes from cheddars?? She said if cheese cake was a man she would be having cheese cake babies!! I said I would marry him the same day! We both met every word 😦  I was having a food orgasm she laughed and said stop girl stop me too!!!  Food was turning us both on to the point we agreed to meet after almost a year of not seeing each other….we will meet up for food and cheese cake. I woke up tired for work …yea and thought omg what have I done? When eating out with a guy I will eat like what people expect me to eat, but with a girl…..wasting calories? I can, but means I can only eat when I see her and lie and say oh I ate before I came and just have that 500 calorie cheese cake, water melon later the end. Just think if we lived real close to each other two large women hunting for food!

Its like do I want this?

A life full of joint pain, men who feel you should get with them because your fat I mean even a obvious gay guy (voice included with his legs crossed) felt I should get with him, or men old enough to be my nanas father (not lying) or the drug dealer who didn’t get caught yet.

Or this?












A body I would enjoy dressing up and having better men approach me not all losers for once, a body I can run , ride a horse, and do more in?

The choice is easy, but its not when that plate of cheese cake with dripping strawberry sauce is right in front of you and please I beg don’t bring any ribs out…

I have a big day tomorrow mainly over my assistant manager, I hope Im 259 tomorrow as well (I hope), and toast and eggs with a small thing of jam sounds good. I have eggs from my atkin days….and just need bread! Thats a nice idea to pack. Going to hop on scale now. Just curious. I struggled to get up my left foot kinda stiff and in pain once I got up from the floor (where I tyoe with laptop) , but feels ok again. Im 260.6 pounds …..sounds like I will be 259 tomorrow??? My size 18 pants felt slightly more loose. Things are becoming much more exciting weight wise. Its hard and I can’t go back…I can’t.

I have 1200 dollars in hidden savings. My goal is still to have 10,000 by the time I return to Florida. I don’t want to be like some of the others who worked there for yearrs with just a 100 stashed away. I think even saving 20 dollars per pay check IF POSSIBLE is decent, even some say 5 dollars. Family, bills, and like me I owe unemployment things like that can dig deep in your pockets.

Anyway going to read a little and then maybe clean some then sleep in hopes of being out the 60s all these years later.

Tomorrow at work…breaths….have to get ready. Round ten.


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3 Responses to “Im pissed off hours later!!!!!! *Yup work related*, some good news, and had food sex talk last night”

  1. dietriotgirl Says:

    Ugh, bosses like that is the reason i turned down the offer to switch to stock. I have nice bosses and I’m aware that is rare. So i didnt want to switch to stock, get a shitty boss and then apply for a second seasonal job with possible more shitty bosses for pay that is crap. It’s not worth it. I’ll just stay in my little temp job with my nice bosses and budget my money and atleast when this job is over after the holidays i can put it on my resume and have great references with my nice bosses and maybe that would help me land a better job…. well it makes sense in my head atleast. I didn’t want to let the “fear” make this decision. But in the end i didn’t want to kill myself working two part time jobs for very little pay so save some money. It’s not worth it, financially and emotionally and mentally. I’m glad your going to HR and i think documenting your treatment is wise. I hope it stops. Its like they know we NEED to make rent or pay bills and cant afford to get fired. So put up with a lot more. But, standing up for yourself and working environment is important too and you can have a fall back on unemployment. They will pay you 80% of what you currently make and for a year with possible extensions for another 6 months. So that is cushion room to finish school get another job etc if that helps you in going to hr an standing up for yourself.

    Lol, i get excited over food too. I always will.That’s what I was talking about ( and you were too) in your order posts about things you wont do when your skinny. I don’t want to be one of those people that constantly fuss and obsess over every little detail and calories and exercise. I want to go out with friends and get that amazing looking piece of cake and not have regret or worry and have a good time… live life. I think its all about balance. Doing it once in a while i think is fine. Its when we do it everyday or several times a week when its a problem.

  2. ebonnie Says:

    It takes one bad boss to ruin your perfectly good day. Its like when I bump into her its like man I wish I went that way instead, or I wish she stop checking on me so offten go away! Yes a nice boss will be a great ref. I have one that told me last year at my old job to always use her on my resume. Even when I worked at walmart as a stocker and cashier we had two stock teams and the boss for both of us were just plain wrong. Its like they either feel they must treat everyone like garbage for respect. The best bosses get the most respect. Im at the point if she crosses me like that again Im going to HER boss the boss of all bosses aka store manager and then corporate. I will have her regret the day she hired me on.

    Two part time jobs pretty much equals one full time, but do feel like two full time jobs because your doing so much for both. And yes for the little pay….pretty much not worth it.

    Yes thats why some if not most have fear some need these jobs like me to care for themselves some have kids, some have grands of money they have to pay to bill collecters the list goes on. Some bosses abuse power because they know this.

    with unemployment I can focus in school without feeling tired after working for sure…so I better hang in this job.

    You too!!! Yes I guess its a aprt of us to be excited about food. I think this is who I am. I really don’t want to worry about every little calorie like I feel Im doing now. Me and her agreed we need to lose a extra 5-10 pounds for gaining and re-losing purposes so we can eat whatever and then focus on re-losing those 5-10 pounds.

    All your friends eating on a moist, soft cake and there you are sipping on water with a dash of lemon *creepy*
    Your right though when its done daily of cake eating and eating whole pizzas then it really takes us off track.

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