Woke up at 262.6….darn. Just completed a mini binge, and just 24 hours of water fasting tomorrow.

Woke up ate two bowls of mini wheat cereal.

Went to work from 6am to 4pm…..yes deadly tired now, but need the rare extra holiday hours for x-mas.

Work was intense and rushing around and it will get more crazy as we get closer to x-mas.

I didn’t want to stay longer, but thought about my future upcoming paycheck!

Lunch a med. tatter tot from sonics with mustard and ketcup

I called my friend after work as I sipped on a coke zero.

I am greatly happy for her and she really deserves all these great things. We both knew each other like 5 years ago on yahoo, we both were obese, we both related how men treated us and what type of men we tend to get due to our size, we both saw how thin women with zero skills get hired over us, get the guys we had more in common with go for a thin woman who had nothing , but her thin frame, and as she is dropping weight so well…..

She is becoming more popular to men because like we talked about before over weight women have to work on their traits, we learn how to be funny, how to be interesting ect. we didn’t have a body that spoke for us. So now she is this worldy, outgoing, funny girl men are even ignoring their thin flirts to turn around to talk to her, they are even going out with their thin ladies and taking double looks at her, she loves games like me, we both have fantaies of cooking for our men, playing with our future children ect. And now with her flat belly and inching more and more to now being considered just overweight, but all the working out is giving her a nice shape too! We talked for about a hour….and my inner me returned!!! The thought of her enjoying life with out me, having a wonderful time, and no longer able to relate to her……her first true date…..me still none, her marriage……not even a boyfriend….her first child… 😦   I don’t want to be left behind.  It will be me and my fat self.

I felt the urge to binge return! That old feeling….that feeling of I have to eat, I must eat, I need to! I was glad she had to go just in time because I just walked to my apartment.

I ate one bowl of mini wheats, a large bowl of pre made frozen stir fry veggies that I baked, three slices of bread with butter and cream cheese and my 5 calorie drink. I felt full …very full, but not the extreme where I feel I would vomit because my body can’t hold it.

Its like I may not call her tomorrow, so I can stay on my water fast. I keep repeating to myself just 24 hours only 24 I can do this. I have work 5am to 2pm…..going to be tough. I need to reverse today and restart my system.

Have to get up at 4am something …..I am just counting the days Im off again and hope they don’t ask me to work on my day off. I always say yes because money speaks to me even though I regret.

I want to be 250 something so bad….so really bad. Its like I eat less lose weight, I exercise yet my body teases me by being close to 262.4 then go up the next day (thanks to the pizza) to 262.6.

Tomorrow wouldn’t be shocked to be 263 or 264….thats all it takes is one slip up and my body gains, Im perfect and my body stays the same now.

I hate that!!!!

Its just so easy to gain…so simple.

If Im strong enough I would do two day of just water would surly have me in my 50’s!

My focus just 24 hours….will do my best.

 

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2 Responses to “Woke up at 262.6….darn. Just completed a mini binge, and just 24 hours of water fasting tomorrow.”

  1. dietriotgirl Says:

    Water fasting is okay for a portion of a day but a whole day it’s not really good for your health and metabolism. Two days would be starving yourself . Instead why dont you try a detox juicing cleanse? My friend’s partner did a juicing cleanse and he not only lost alot but he felt so much healthier and energy. After all, its all fruits an veggies. AS MUCH as you want, as long as its a certain ounce. I dont remember the specifics, i never tried it since i dont have a blender! lol.

    Whatever you choose to do, just be safe! Wishing you the best!

  2. tfaswift Says:

    ebonnie, fasting makes you gain weight. That’s all there is to it. Fasting makes your metabolism slow down even more than it is, which means you burn calories even more slowly. If you don’t put low-cal food into your stomach (or juice or fruit as diotriotgirl says) then you will end up gaining, not losing.

    Fact is, you will not stay on water forever, and when you go back to food, your body will cling to those calories more tightly than ever and store everything as fat because it doesn’t trust you anymore, since you keep starving it! My friend, don’t starve, don’t fast. It doesn’t work. Just eat the right foods. Fruit is great. GREAT. Veggies are GREAT. Oh my goodness. Please don’t do anymore fasting. You know I write this because I care.

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