Woke up 7am weighing 264.2 and now at 6:32pm still 264.2= will weigh less tomorrow.

Today I ate at 8am-ish. Three slices of my favorite WHITE bread no wheat or brown bread, but that no no white bread toasted with butter and cream cheese…..such a treat! Then two bowls of shredded wheat cereal the blue berry flavor. I make sure I eat this cereal everyday now since it causes weight loss aka the fiber. After that I didn’t eat anymore just had my 5 calorie cranberry juice and a piece of gum the end. I feel empty like no food is sitting inside me. I feel hopeful that in the first time in YEARS I will be 250 something. Still large, but getting closer ever so slowly into thin hood. I look in the mirror more trying to see where the weight is leaving at, thinking of old school Britney Spears body and others……just thinking wouldn’t it be grand to wake up with such a body…..

 

Tomorrow its back to work, back to boxes, back to hearing thin women say how hungry they are and sometimes I join in, also back to rushing around trying to as they say pick up the pace.

In the back of my mind I know co-workers are commenting on how I appear smaller and it seems like Im losing weight. I hear this, but can’t wait until Im asked out on a real date for once, or have a guy have a crush on me and no longer will I be the fat girl who just looks at passing eye candy taken or not. I can’t wait to slide into a single digit pair of jeans, to go into any store and be able to know my size is there not just socks and hats, and nail polish.

I can’t wait to be able to go out doors knowing I won’t be invisible even though part of me wants to continue to be invisible since Im not use to the attention. I want marriage and my future family….soooooo I have to learn to get over it the best way I can.

Its so exciting to see how my body is forming.

Nothing wrong with being plus size when your healthy and you don’t have weak knees as myself!

Women should be allowed to be a size 12 or 14 and land a great guy without feeling like they must be clones of Mary Kate and Ashley.

Its interesting how I read in the old western days a thin woman came on stage to sing and all the cow boys booed at her. The plus size woman came up and every guy in the room got excited! Today its no longer the thin woman the under dog she is desirable now. I found old ads to even help thin women gain weight! Times have greatly changed. It would take a famine in America for them to seek out the plus size woman again.

 

Going to help to bed and do my sit ups both apps 😦

And then snooze away.

I just hope I don’t go back to my old ways of lusting after food.

I would go to bed full and think what Im I going to have for breakfast?

I could be snacking and trying to figure out what could I wash this down with?

I really couldn’t help it and may be hard for some to understand.

Me and a girl related she use to be 400 pounds now slim and told me have you ever went into a bakery and thought food porn?

I didn’t, but really thats what it is for us!

The icing of the cake looks so good the way it runs down the cake in halt.

The cherry pies all bright and sunny looking.

The juice in the stores tasted so playful and fun.

Potatoes with large amounts of sour cream, topped with butter and melted with cheese was so wonderful.

All this is still very wonderful just won’t buy it until I feel I can handle a serving.

The juice I buy is ok because I can drink a large amount of it and still be within a small amount of calories.

zzzzz

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2 Responses to “Woke up 7am weighing 264.2 and now at 6:32pm still 264.2= will weigh less tomorrow.”

  1. dietriotgirl Says:

    Glad to read your feeling better about yourself! I hope you continue on a path to happiness and acceptance!

  2. ebonnie Says:

    Me too I hope this is not short lived!

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