Former ride to work+ Former 5th grade bully = Binge

1) I use to have rides to and from work…..in a last post I got fed up…been fed up with her for many months. Im the type who forgives you over and over….and over. I will hurt inside, but after some months I will break down….in tears….like today at work.

My ride has issues,if my manager tell me to do this she will come right after her and tell me to do that. She says it must go this way or that way. Shes annoying and shows anger if I say no to her Im doing what my manager says. She shows anger, says rude things, her jokes really sounds like insults.  To make a long story short after I told her no and she got mad about it and told me off in a nutshell and stormed off. I broke down in tears, my other manager came (we have a alot of managers) I told her I just tolerate her over and over. I am forgiving, and just because you see us talking don’t mean anything…Im just nice sadly. My alter ego just wants to yell at her and tell her to back off!  So my boss calls our manager’s assistant my department manager had called her as I went off to the bathroom to stop crying, called me to go to her office.

Sadly my former ride even said months ago she likes me because I forget it or just laugh it off…..not anymore after about 9 months of this I can’t take it anymore! Even her christian buddy wanted to smack her across the face and fussed why don’t she just let us work?

This reminds me when I was new my former ride told me she has been to therapy, and she will use me as a talking practice, even semi stalked me at work when she clearly saw me hide from her she went looking for me on all three levels of the store. I would lie and say I have to use the bathroom and she followed me there. I was perfect for her, I won’t tell you your crazy, I won’t hurt your feelings even if your wrong…..but Im not Jesus nor God you can’t ask me for forgiveness and pretend nothing happened and were best friends again. I forgave alot and felt bad each day I had to see her.

I knew, but my assis. manager told me many have complained about my former ride, she even made a man quit because she bothered him, told him he was doing this and that wrong and he couldn’t take it anymore and quit. Others from sales, to other departments have complained to her about my former ride. Plus she comes late every two days to three and I use to ride with her and be late that often and just be like ok whatever what can I do? One day I came to the car a minute late instead of standing outside for her and she lost it and telling me how if I don’t stand outside then she won’t tell me how close she is and I have to wait out anyway and blah, blah, blah yet had us late almost daily, but never told her self off. Thats what made me give up the rides because I won’t be your excuse why your late since then she been coming 15-30 minutes late alone, sometimes at rare on time, In a nutshell she has some things against her already. My assis. boss ask do you still ride with her? I said no! I felt she was trying to see can I get to work without her…..?  Long story short they may give her one of my departments since she knows everything (in her head) because Im too busy for both! I had 194 boxes alone in one department. I feel guilty, but deep down I hope they get rid of her. She is crazy and can make you lose your job! She makes a person feel bad, and others said now you see why her marriages didn’t last. Its not always the men a crazy woman can ruin things.

2) My former 5th grade bully was my friend in school then bully. One minute were talking the next she is chasing me down on the playground with a stick (lucky that day a bird poo poo on her head and she ran to the bathroom) In those tender years 4-5th your forgiving and making friends seem oh so easy. Middle school hits and these same kids who stood in line, raised their hands and waited their turn, and got excited about PBS with Author to reading rainbow got to middle school and became very different! Many times in a bad way. My former 5th grade bully seemed to blend in no longer seeing me as a stuffed rabbit and she a greyhound after game.

Years later she sees my mom and asks for my number to get in touch.

Since then I got textes from my issue is I need dick…..all because I told her if a guy who is in and out of jail cheats with you in your bed with another woman maybe you should stop seeing him :/

Days later I try to be nice and text normal convo. She lies to me that she is out with friends….she was a former bully…and still kinda mean…what friends or pretend friends?

She then confesses that she is about to have sex with the same guy! Im like well… ok.

Then days later another text I need dick thats my issue and I told her if I need it that badly there is toy shops and online places to buy it any size, and color! That upset her.

Then she trying to get me with her cousin who is in and out of jail, and gave my number to him and he admits he use to sell drugs, says he works when I ask where he says he works meaning he won’t say. He looks angry in the face many agree with me. He calls women hoes and how they liked him then when he was rolling in cash…don’t like men who call women hoes. Im thinking to myself why do I want to be like you? Single with a man in and out of jail and now she has a baby a son who won’t have a role model just that cousin lil daddy and his daddy go in and out of jail.

She then textes me today wheres her babies gifts?! Im like whooooooo!!! I told her Im trying to make it myself and where are my b-day gifts? My alter ego really wanted to say you were dumb to have a baby with a man with zero future and is all about himself.

I want kids and lets pretend I was insane enough to meet a guy, he goes to jail, cheats on me at my apartment, and goes back to jail and writes me letters how he will be faithful….lets say Im her. Im sorry I would have a abortion.

Growing up in a christian home with a single mother, I am glad I have life (sometimes),but I don’t want a child who has to be related to him with no male role model. A male role model tells his daughter who she should be with in he is a positive person in her life, and teaches his son how to be a man….how can I a woman do that? Some people had fathers who are dead too soon, but left wonderful memories.Me mines alive somewhere beating on another woman and had a child with her.

I don’t want that lifestyle, and don’t want welfare to care for a child I was silly enough to have with a man I shouldn’t have been with. Im against abortion because some women will be with child and ten abortions later..you are taking a possible life away. Yes a girl another girl knew had ten abortions she loved the party life and unsafe sex. Im also for abortions if you were raped for example. Im for it and against it depending on reason.

I had a long day and deep down this had to happen.

I will likely no longer have to deal with my former ride. She will stay away from me hopefully if not I will from her. Its nothing she can say to smooth things over. Its been over 9 months of me forgiving and forgetting, me putting up with odd and wrong behavior.

I ate the pro Obama and Romney donuts at 7-11 and when asked why I picked both….when you want to binge you careless who is on the donut or if its a anti gay or pro gay donut as long as it has carbs, sugar, and texture that I like is all that matters at the time. Taco Bell…..I did great in the morning trying to cope with this disorder and then my former ride ruins my day again. I have to try to relax before I kill myself with a heart issue or just get bigger and bigger until bed bound.

Tomorrow at work its going to be something else and I wonder how will things turn out.

Its 10:21pm now…feel like eating…..not hungry, but want to eat some more.

Breath…..

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2 Responses to “Former ride to work+ Former 5th grade bully = Binge”

  1. dietriotgirl Says:

    Wow your former ride is really loony tunes. Chicky, i feel you should stand up for yourself more. I know its not easy and your shy and timid. But, think of how you reported those guys from subway. You stood up for yourself then and you can do it again. People take kindness as a weakness. We have to show them it’s a strength…something they will never know.

    My advice for the binging… find healthy alternatives. Binge on carrots. I know its not the same but substitute the substance and trick the brain. While you are still eating, it’s something that wont cause too much harm. It’s more for your brain…thinking it is binging. Trick the mind. Until you feel your gaining control back.

  2. ebonnie Says:

    I agree,but I work with her so I did my best to keep the peace since I had to see her everyday at work. Carrots sounds hard like when you want sweets the last thing on your mind is carrots….but I will try!

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