Im trying to push myself-267.2 pounds

This is me I still have the double chin going.

Took this pic not long ago as well, just noticed my reflection passing by. I came from whole foods with a medium thing of watermelon and one peach total 8 something….yea I don’t go there much. 8 dollars could of went to the mushroom angus burger meal at mc donalds around the same cost.

I woke up had some greek yogurt with dried fruit and a splash of honey added. Lunch sonics a medium tots with a hamburger and coke zero. I wanted a second burger, but since I ate breakfast it was a no go. It took so much out of me to just pass on by sipping that zero calorie acid. Calories I had today were 1400 calories.  I semi jog upstairs at work throughout the day instead of riding them. In the morning we use reg stairs three flights and as always Im out of breath once at the top….but I soildered on.

My pants feel slightly roomy…just slightly.

Had a elderly sales woman get upset that I didn’t know my way around the second floor…when thats not my reg floor she went on and on and was very rude saying don’t I see the signs above…Im thinking I wear glasses and Im not wearing them. I just said uh huh yea ok as a customer stood by. My only comfort was that in five years she should be in a near by nursing home, so let her have her moment on the outside world. After her act I wanted and felt I deserved any treat I wanted…..had to fight that off. I just breathed deeply and tried to focus on the job instead of how upset she really made me.

The guy at work we crossed paths alot….again. I feel it makes him nervous, but really where ever he is I am and where ever I am he comes and we work very different departments its so strange. This happens almost everyday. Note to self when thin make sure you give him the friend vibe strongly then ever before. Don’t want to be bothered when I look like your ideal. In a perfect world people would date others for what matters the most their insides, but in the real unperfect world we don’t unless you have so many flaws about yourself you feel you have to settle. I felt he was kinda ignoring me pretending he don’t see me. Which really upset me I mean I don’t like you that way anyway I use to…until I learned more about you. He did say hello gave a smile that was real, but had so many meanings I just couldn’t figure out. I also wonder if other coworkers joked that he liked me…I feel that happened and who wants to be known to have a crush on the fatty? I can’t wait to be thin, so this can all be behind me.

I caught a ride again today and twice in a row we were late. My ex coworker was like you better stop riding with her….easy to say when you have a car and I have to walk 40 minutes and wake up beyond early to make it….so easy to say when you can zone here and there. I may walk tomorrow morning or maybe not.

I tried to set up my massage for Sunday…but he is booked until the 28th. I don’t want to wait that long. He has the best reviews, but I bet I can find someone decent. Plus I work  who wants to ride the bus and train after work for a message and feel even more sleepy after? I rather on my day off.

Also as you can see my hair……at work a customer saw me and said wow that looks so nice, and how long does that take? I said it took 12 hours..she was amazed. She said can’t you wash it…I said yes…how long you kept it in…I said 2 months. She came up to me and started touching and whirling my hair trying to figure out how it was created. It felt like forever as a sales person looked on and so did another. The lady could of at least tipped :/   but something about hair…..

Anyway Im going to sip on this coke zero and read a little.

Its sad I already know what Im going to eat tomorrow that peach, watermelon and two egg and ham sandwiches I am so ready for it. More sad that it seems I look forward to eating.


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