He smiled at me-268.6

At work it was like the sound track to “Len steal my sunshine” came on just the beat of it. It was like slow motion. He came out of nowhere I was like is he new or been here and just saw him? (many employees exist new faces too) He was wearing a suit like many of the men in sales (not all), but he looked at me with this smile and kept looking at me and I to him….I caught myself after it was like whoo it won’t happen between you two and he could be smiling because your looking at him smiling and showing signs of shyness….I hurried off from that scene! I get weak with a guy in a suit. 

We went somewhere after a car accident when I was a teen, all these lawyers around us, but it was beautiful sight all those men in suits, and I love a guy with a super high IQ too. Thats why I am still laughing that my 5th grade former bully and then friend within five minutes repeat back to bully mode would try to set me up with her cousin lil daddy who sells drugs and is going nowhere in life, but in and out of jail and his pic only showed me that he only has his abs going for him…yawn. 

Today I ate 1400ish in calories. The amount of calories means my slow weight loss. I walk alot and go up and down the stairs, but nothing would beat this if I was to come home all tired and just workout to my PC with yourself fitness.

Work was pretty much the same everyone complains, but trust me take our job away and were wishing we had it! I helped out alot today since I had the time. Right knee felt weak, but kept on going.

Same feelings of wanting to eat now…its 9pm something my time. I just want to eat the feeling seems to never go away. I may get a massage you know treat myself. My neck hurts, back, and this person he will massage everywhere……my worries though are well Im fat so yea….

Right now a whopper from burger king sounds wonderful..well two of them. A large fry, A Hi-C drink, and some cheesecake…thats about 3000-4000 calories easy. Two refills, two big burgers and fries and three slices of cheesecake with toppings.

Sunday my day off a nice message and treat myself to Dennys (got a 20 percent discount in the mail by them)

I go to work, worry about eating, come home,focus about eating, and do nothing but nap and wish things were better and what can I do for fun? Well Sunday other then pay bills and think of food Im going to treat myself nicely. I wasted all my younger years wishing to be thin and then wanting to binge it comes so natural.

At least the scale is slowly going down…just wish it was much faster.

Goes to bed to wake up 5am in the morning.


Tags: , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: