Message to fat girls- If you fix yourself up_____-270.8 pounds

Did I eat again yesterday? Sure I did Im not cured from binging! I made sure to binge on a box of fiber one bars 35 percent fiber…the only reason why im slightly lighter…plus the two zantrex pills which gave me energy from(took them at 5pm something) 7pm at work to when we went home at 10:30pm which had me up till 3am….yes the stuff works. I use to take it daily and was losing weight real good, but people shared their fear I stopped and here I am again a total brown bear whale. I also use to binge on fiber one bars because even after a bad eating day it help me stay the same or slightly lighter on the scale, the zantrex works like fiber after two pills and two bottles of water or four cups make you go, go, go,and sometimes decrease the desire for food. when you first take them yes your heart will race, but overtime your body gets use to it and doesn’t race like that. I took four pills my first time with them….two in the AM and two more in the evening…lost five pounds over night with a very racing heart that I thought I was going to die. Good news once I lived I saw I was five pounds smaller!

I woke up this morning and texted my teacher that I won’t be coming in this morning since I worked over night at work….ok well 7pm to 10:30pm was over a night enough for me! Didn’t want to wake up at 6am to ride the bus to her. Plus been up super early after work thanks to pills. She was going to ask the nurse assistant students could I stick them…when she acted like she wanted a student. I will admit I was highly upset how dare you send me home in front of the class because your the only teacher and some man who owns the school only comes by to pick up the cash and goes home and you do ALL the work and teach EVERYTHING from nurse assistant, phlebotomy (the one Im in),EKG, CPR and now recently added insurance! She does look stressed out and I bet it was easier to send me home then to show me like she done for others…yes im the nice one and it can be easy to run over me, but when it comes to me paying out of pocket 700 dollars of it I won’t be used any form of way! Not rich nor do I get paid the greatest either. Before I was going to pay to take my exam 15, plus national when you paid in full, and then worry about sticks later….but after being sent home with a needle and told to practice on a orange or apple…I paid to juice fruit through a needle?!  She can’t do the national test unless at least two paid in full students are willling, not many have paid in full…nor Im I. I was willing to risk the money and pay next month and focus on sticks later…she knows this. So I woke up exactly at 7:59am texted her if any students want to test out I am willing, BUT after my sticks 🙂

I refuse to pay in full pass all these Texan tests then you may act funny sending me home or making it tricky since hey you got all of your money what can I do? I know for sure she will never send me home again. I didn’t take that well at all. If she sent me home not in front of others who smiled and thought it was funny ok sure I would still be mad, but not two days later still mad as hell!

Work yesterday I got to work with the assistant and the head manager. The assistant a she and the head one a he….so we all know who I enjoyed working with the most, with his super cute self. Everything he said mattered, his career and how he got to where he is was important. The assistant told me to do this, but was over ride by him…plus he is easier to work with and others agreed the assistant has her nice moments too. She grab my arm too last night I was thinking what the_____, anyway I use to work in another department and I couldn’t help, but to sometimes glance and look at this other manager he looked like he was from Spain, or maybe Cuban? Dark hair, green eyes, nice accent thats not so heavy, and just perfect…well when they moved me to where Im at now he told me I can still look at him….I told him thank you….not many men are that kind to allow a fatty like me to at least have some eye candy. I try to play it low like I don’t notice him, but its hard some of these men are really good looking.

Be right back…going to take two zantrex pills before I eat anything!



I hate this advice if you dress nice blah blah blah…

I had a so called friend or whatever she is or was I don’t know with a fashion degree try to dress me…well my gut poked out and it was a mess. Fat people know what to wear where not trying to reveal our guts any further, nor define our side rolls either.

Yes fat women, plus size or whatever can dress nicely and look good, but it takes longer and you don’t really come out with several bags of clothes either from a store unless filled with many socks and hair bows.  A thin woman can throw anything on and look good even if its jeans and a t-shirt she is hot no matter who she is. A fat woman in the same outfit….um….yea you get my point. Or put a thin woman in a two piece and fat one in a two piece and who looks better? So what you got the face of a Roman Goddess, or the nose of a pixi fairy, that thin woman next to you with the stray cat face still wins hands down! I seen some beautiful thin women face, body, everything, but the ugly face ones that look like God rushed through her makes you wonder if women were just thin with no heads she would make the top 100 beauty of the year!

My whole point yes when you fix yourself up its really for you and every guy you wish who wouldn’t give you the time of day. My friend dresses great for a plus size woman and always left hurt because every guy with lower education (she has degrees,) comes her way, yet the educated ones go to the slim waitress, the large chested but trim bartender, even the maid if she is small enough,and worse the toothless thin women who gets a average cutie with a brain. I told her guys are different and yes its great you have three degrees, your young,you took care of your mother, and you do charity work….but her size 4 pal who is bald headed and done nothing, but steal, and even drove away with her boyfriends car never returning gets every guy she wants they come to her. I get the mood to look really good, like yesterday men honking their horns, checking me out as I walked in walmart. As a teen I didn’t really fix myself up it met getting the men old enough to be grandpa checking me out, or men with no goals or dreams,I understood fixing myself up or not if thin I wouldn’t be getting every guy on a penison looking for a free sex partner and care giver. Or the next so called rap star, or someone with three kids already from two different women. Again just because Im fat I won’t take all flaws.

So if your a fat girl don’t listen to that message about fixing yourself up, yes look decent, but really you seen the thin girls who put on anything and just look amazing no matter what. At my job with all these black, white, asian,latin thin barbies they look good everyday no matter what they wear. The chubby ones look either in too much black or just well nothing that good to at rare very nice looking in what they have on, the thin ones no matter what looks good every single day!

Do this task buy a outfit in your current size and one in your goal size (goal must be a single digit to see what I mean)

Take pics of the current you in the larger size outfit, see how many people say how nice you look (friends and family don’t count, culture wise they are suppose to be nice…no friend is going to say wow those make your hips look wider) Only strangers opinions count or coworkers you have not befriended…..I mean I seen coworkers tell a large woman she looks cute today when she appeared like a walking bright disco ball…they were friends.

Now lose weight as best you can…its hard its real hard..people make it out as easy its not when your addicted to food…its very real…very real and hard to live with. Smokers rush outside to smoke,me Im rushing to a snack machine.  Food addiction have gotten the obese in news where they rob food ….AGAIN food not money. People have eaten themselves to death…what sane person would do that? A addicted one. Food is like drugs a temp feel good for some of us.

Ok, back on topic…..once your single digit at least a 9 take pics and compare yourself in the same outfit at a larger size…..notice how many people think you look really good in the smaller you…same outfit…new size.

My nana had the nerve to say my fat cousin didn’t get the job at KFC because when she applied she wasn’t fix up….KFC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um I got a job at wendys and didn’t fix myself up when I applied its a chance thing meaning just hope when you applied no one smaller came in to apply after you.

My wish please oh please let me be in my 60’s tomorrow…


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